What if you were waiting for someone you knew wouldn’t come?

Waiting for someone could turn into a wonderful experience as you use all your emotions of anticipating and feel excitement; or it could turn into a torture if the results aren’t what you expected.

But, there is this rare occasion, when you are announced that you will be waiting in vain, and yet, for some twisted reason, you still have hopes and you decide to hang out just in case.  Some 13 years ago,  fate had it and I waited in an airport for 11 hours staring at a clock. It was some short of a samurai exercise for me. I thought that standing still hoping he would show up, would make me feel less pain. Because, deep down, I knew he wouldn’t come. He had said so and he had told me in the most sincere way, like when he told me that he would and I had to change my ticket just to be able to have those precious hours with him.

There was no agony there. Just pure pain. But, as the hands of the clock kept turning in their own rhythm, the storm inside started passing away.  I slowly realized what the steadiness of heart that the samurais practiced really is; and when the 11 hours finally passed and I released my body from the position of my legs tucked into one another, I felt numbed,  but with so much spiritual strength. I do not know why God had put me through that ordeal before, but, right when it finished, I realized how more steady in spirit I had become. Conquering yourself is a great deal after all…


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